It’s 5:05 PM. I’ve just picked myself up off the floor after finishing a CrossFit class.
An hour ago, I felt sad, anxious, and exhausted. The last place in the world I wanted to go to was the gym. Every piece of my being wanted to stay glued to the sofa, watching Netflix series and getting a quick dopamine hit from some chocolate.
Now here I am feeling on top of the world, and it’s so annoying. Because it’s hard.
I founded the charity BTG Mind Matters to help other people get access to the magical combination that is counseling and exercise therapy. It saved my life. I know how incredible it is; my life literally depends on it, yet every single day I have to force myself to work out.
An easy life for me would be staying at home, never facing my anxiety. I’d eat all the high-fat, high-sugar foods that my brain loves. I’d spend hours scrolling on social media. I wouldn’t ever do anything hard or challenging like public speaking, training, learning new skills, or going into busy places. I’d make my life so easy and comfortable that it would become awful.
Eventually, climbing the stairs would be hard. Going out to shop or to appointments would be impossible.
So instead, I have to do the uncomfortable, hard things that make my life good.
I try to food prep and eat nutritious whole foods. It’s tedious, time-consuming, and doesn’t always hit the same instant gratification spot a takeaway or ready meal would, but gut microbiome health plays an enormous role in our dopamine and endorphin production. So by doing this, I feel mentally better, my skin is clearer, I don’t feel bloated or groggy. It’s not the easy option, but it's a good one.
I make myself go out.
Sometimes I have to literally make a bargain with myself to go into a busy shop. But once I’ve done it, I’ve got what I need, nothing bad happened, and I’ve maintained my independence.
Having to rely on someone else to shop for me for the rest of my life would be really hard.
I make myself train to stay fit and mobile. You’ll never hear anyone moan more than me during a class, but my life is so much better for it. I have never regretted doing a workout in 6 years. I’m strong, fit, and feel well.
None of this happened overnight. It’s taken time and lots of support to get to where I am now.
I take cold showers. I gave up alcohol. I try to read books rather than scroll social media. I do some form of exercise every day. I force myself to go to bed and get enough sleep. I teach large groups. I go on courses to learn new things. I take long walks in the outdoors. I eat locally sourced unprocessed food. I say yes to opportunities that terrify me.
All these things are a challenge for me even now.
I make my life as hard as possible, and it’s absolutely amazing.
It’s never too late to completely change your life. If you feel down, anxious, or stuck in a rut and want some support, take a look at our website: www.btg-MindMatters.org
Vicky x
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